choking

becoming somekind of lethargic mass

sleeping on/off/on/off alldaylong on/off/on

wallowing around

have a bagel and banana

turn the lights back off

hover under covers

and sleep

until it's dark

then do it again

nine more hours

what is wrong with me

srsly,though,idk

///

misto bear's bunny ears are slouching

he hopped off my twinbed

scared the cat

get him,Margot

except he is 3x yr size

'good luck with that'

\\\

here is more space, entering down, i'm going write something else irrelevant, non-related to latter post(s), so i'm going to put in these 'signs' to 'symbolize' i hope this makes 'sense' '\\\' AND/OR '///' but not ''/\/' or \/\' , those mean 'other things' , other things. run on sentence your face, this face, my face, a face, no face

///

this blanket reeks of laundry detergent

in a bad way

choking me with your freshness

you are too clean

///

listening to a band by some boy

i was with

#2

last spring break

what a trip

why

get off my playlist

you remind me of

uncomfortable things

but i like your songs

NEXT>>

\\\

i'm 'afraid' of putting my playlist on 'random'

for fear of a song playing that i don't like

or some song connected to a memory that makes me feel melancholy

i choose what i listen to carefully

for fear of emotional trauma

///

what am i doing

save now/ or publish post?

hm

why haven't i left my apartment yet

holidays are weird

alone

known, but unacknowledged

/\/\

radiator

chemicals

sushi

kitty cat

no pants

mixing

toning

eating seaweed salad

i think this sushi is old

tastes like it

kitty, get out of the chemicals

come on

get out of here

i'm trying to go blonde

shut the door

keep the heat in

absent chills

i tried xx tonight it was alright

why this consistent thing in my newsfeed with kids in beds under blankets in sloppy rooms with morning light taken with film cameras i want some of it i want in on some of this film grain too can i get in on some of it i want to take a picture of a cute boy in a bed under blankets drinking a coca cola too i want to represent my twenty-something life as it is when it is it is now oh that part that you do not see those things i do they do exist they have existed rather for the shortest periods hiding under the softest sheets with close breaths and deep eyes ; deep sighs but i cannot capture it for the boy does not exist

any longer

without this presence i am forced to pretend

maybe i should just transcend

t

__h

e (i)

_m

invisible carpet surprise

instantaneous

s/t/i\c\k!

penetration through

s|t|a|l|e skin

unsure of what it is? but

know it hurts ( blurt )

red drops spilling over crease, spilling

out

waterfountainlike Gush

some kind of chard deepwithin

fresh slice

dug out with nearest tool, dug out with exacto knife,

upon discovery, a

glass splinter

out/in/out again

she arrived at your backdoor, the place between your mind and your heart, she got a hold and she isn't letting go, No, she isn't letting go. you didn't even realize she was standing there, for a good five minutes, you didn't. your glass was too thick to break. too thick to shake your subconscious, your stirring mind of lost thoughts. she had to call you, she had to wait for you to let her in. she had to wait for you to open your door

she was grasping that knob so tightly holding (to your) outside, just to be welcomed [to you(r)] inside

just to be there when it was time to come in

you didn't know (then)

you still don't (now)

know?

know

( that )

you let her

in

story 1

he put his finger in her mouth and told her to bite down.

she couldn't figure out what he was implying or if he was even trying to.

they had only known each other two months.

<< ...

they met in some dive bar on the outskirts of town, during the middle of a june storm.

the bar seemed a bit dull this night, not unusual for a thursday. he came alone, sat for a beer, then felt like a smoke and made his way outside.

she arrived around the same time with two girlfriends, bar hopping after one of their birthdays. she felt bored being inside and needed to think about some things and politely excused herself from the table. she stepped outside under the awning for a smoke. he was leaning up against a rail looking at his feet, looking kind of miserable. she searched in her clutch for her carton of cigarettes, finding them but realized they were empty. she had lent her last one to her friend. she noticed he a few feet away was smoking and decided to ask if she could borrow one. he looked up from his shoes and mundanely obliged, "Sure." she thanked him and went about smoking. he turned back toward his feet. they were still standing kind of close since the awning was barely enough for four or five people. she was feeling slightly confident that evening, a first for her in a long time and decided to introduce herself. she wasn't made up or anything fancy, but she had this kind of natural beauty one doesn't find just anywhere. she said her name and he didn't look her in the eye or anything and told her his name. he seemed ok with talking, only a few words here and there, and continued to exchange pleasantries with her nonchalantly, she participating moderately more than him. while they conversed, the humidity with its thick palms gently caressed their faces. hers shone in the somewhat flickering bug light, drips of moisture complimenting her already glossy lips. he was too preoccupied at the time to notice her illuminated contour, as he stared blankly into the drizzle. his thoughts swirling with confusion as he examined his life and the recent events bringing him down. she barely knew his name much less his current circumstances but she picked up on him looking lonely and stayed, keeping him company, taking much longer to smoke her cigarette before returning inside...

tbc

srsly

get out of my dreams,plz (would you?) / starting to 'get to me' / i don't want to 'deal with this' anymore

t ck t ck |AND/OR| i/o

beach babes

scantily clad

bikini tan lines

swivel and hop and jiggy

bongos

sandy speedos

getting with it

getting a groove on

midday bake

jamaica vaca in late july

1955

w v s

**this (song) is lame

**this (song) is lame

i feel like i am in an elevator

in that place where you are in waiting what's it called

purgatory or something

i imagine it would be something like this

and you're just waiting and waiting and you eat a cracker and drink some OJ maybe and you're like....um O.K. (refer to **title)

i am writing

i am in class

it's raining

we are listening to surf rock

it brings a nice warmth to the dreariness outside

i gaze through the window

i feel ok

i wear partly wool gloves

with the fingertips cut out

they are pretty comfortable

these shoes i am wearing

feel like house shoes

i try not to get my feet wet

by carefully dodging puddles

i have so much to do in the next nineteen days (o please do not mention my time frame)

but it will get done

eventually

i am through with this

at least

blanketed

digestion suggestion

happy turkey day, y'all.

I recommend this blog.

I also recommend submitting to it.

in clover

NEWS OF ORLEANA

decadent, obtuse bouncing sparkles

on a hazy, thick-air night

flamboyance at her best. feathers swinging,

painted figures playfully gleaming.

mounds and mounds of beads

dangling down barely covered breasts.

fruiting towers, sexual power, favoured

faces; masks that silence the

soul beneath, drunken.

dizzy.

out for speed.

taken by excitement, lost in

excess, finding an evening for foreplay

success.

left at a party, passed

dead to the floor.

News of Orleana, we hear

no more.

[ video of me reading this ]

| | | |

five stars

d / (e's)/ F A U L T/

INSOMNIAC:

watches the sunrise

eats animal crackers

& with a hint of caffeine, is in for

A.M.: clearly the calmest

calmly the clearest

macbook battery >434 cycles

flamingo flaunting

infatuated with splashing

INSOMNIAC: (STILL NOT SLEEPY)

listens to song on repeat at least 30 times until 'sick of it'

if song proves its potential , indefinite listening.

(don't) GIVE IT UP

title

pizza breath

you taste like pepperoni

get out of my face, kid

where were you last night anyway?

i heard you left your dog inside all weekend

what were(n't) you thinking?

want to decipher this?

just type-U_S-out correctly,

paste our links in carefully and upload

publish

publish now

oh but we have missing links

we read as, 'Error'

we're obviously misspelled

HTMHELL

our password failed.

clean sheets

Her freshest linen, white with cerulean palm trees and tropical flowers

A fluffed airy duvet cover hugging thin sheets, keeping captive

dancing images in such states, still

fabric softener never fails to pour aroma into

cotton

also allowing such softness for slumber

she shaved her legs tonight, 11:38 PM late eve

in anticipation of sliding into her bed of

springy ECSTACY.

Why restlessness from anxiousness

kept her awake till 2:15 AM she

understood not

Her back stinging, still

from sleeping on others' floors, pull-out beds, and twin mattresses

five separate houses, this week.

In order with whom: none the same

young man, girl, girls, grandma, young man

it was pleasant to pass out in her own room for once.

your plasticity puzzles me.

'it doesn't mean shit'

been 'losing it' all day

just spilt supper cereal milk all over my keyboard

took off the 'e' and 'command' key

leopold my macbook is o.k.

, but

i am not.

little problem? you got no clue

big problems

break down

breaking down

breaking on downward

into corner of wall

into comforter on laundry room floor in corner of wall

and cry

last night on the bus ride home i wrote this on my macbook

the internet is DOwn

the internet is DOwn

PILOT TRAVEL CENTER via megabus via chicago to champain to memphis

shower number five is ready

shower number five is ready

shower user number five please initiate

i just touched base in 'Effingham' IL

i just bought a tolberone in 'Effingham' IL

its 2:56 am

and i am in effing 'Effingham' IL and i am effing amused.

f-ing.

25oct10

ceramics studio

the soda machines spittin out

unexpected quantities of change

1 dime 3 nickels and a quarter

thanks? i guess

i'm:

(1) too tired to 'deal' with this

(2) hiccup face

(3) clay hands

i didn't mean to push pepsi

cause unknown

her lips were dry like leather hide

salt stings and chapped dermis

even the most moisturizing product fails

to replenish

the normality of moisture

a kiss' death

my dream about ana

( addressed to ana )

dude. you were in my nap dream idk how. i was in your city, we were going to meet up to eat at someplace well known for its hummus /pita bread. we discussed it out on the swanky rooftop dinning area/level. i was carrying a bunch of things like a suitcase, wearing heels and it was taking me a minute to get out downstairs from my hotel room, you darted out energetically and i was to follow you to your car but you got a bit ahead of me, jumping into the elevator and went down before me, but i didn't know which level you had gone to (to find your car -it wasn't on the ground level) so i decided to go out the front door, yet i realized the place was skyscraper high -i would have to shimmy down a ladder for 100 feet before i hit the outside stairs. so i took the inside stairs, and there was this huge slide instead so i slid down to the bottom level. somebody let their baby slide down too, but it went one way and came back the next, having the biggest time ever, but the opposing person failed to catch it and it kind of crashed and cried a lot, but it was ok. after that i started to express how i felt 'lost' via text message, my phone battery was about to die, and as i typed you showed up right in front of me and we went to eat.

( ana edits NVW! )

Interview!

I was recently interviewed by the University of Central Arkansas’ student run newspaper, The Echo about my poems. I read them at the Vortex Reading & Community Jam at La Lucha in Conway, Arkansas.

finally posted (from july 29) these turned into lyrics for a song

i spent my summers alone
sewing hand clutches
never leaving my apartment

my wrist was sore from
the needle penetrating
matte board through fabric silk

a constant push and pull
my thimble was getting worn

sometimes i stuck my finger
on accident
and
it hurt

i had a roommate
but i basically was the only one there
all the time

it got old

i was productive
but lonely as fuck

the local weirdos / psychos
sporadically hollerinG at me

ain't nothin new
ain't a damn thing new in this little-po-dunk-no-way-town

let me alone
leave it be
i'd rather sit here and sew
than fancy you
fancy, you


song:
'fancy you'

myspace.com/neonglittery

pretty 'english'

reading

this is me reading a few pieces

>>

click here:

beans and rice

1.61 in my account after rent goes through. jeez. beans and rice

egg sandwich supper

(head hurts)

sneeze X3

not interested.

forecast>>

weather: rain

day: strange

mood: in & out, but covering most states

i'm on fb chat

but you talk to me on

gmail chat

should i get on gmail

just so you'll talk to me?

i don't need to check my email right now

but i'd like to converse with you

i should just get off the internet

i have homework to do

i can't read you

but i want to

---

I went for a friend's kid

you don't realize you have sensory issues until you

are surrounded by flashing lights, shrilling babies,

obnoxious MC's going Woohoo abruptly into the mic sporadically,

an excess of primary colours and zillions of strangers' kids.

chatter chatter feels like swirling in an avalanche

of sounds, this slowly lulls me to sleep, surprisingly

This place is hella cheesy but god the kids eat it up along

with their cookies, cheap baked pizza, and sugar-death cake

The chairs are far too close together. Excuse, me please.

I am not large. But this corporate body is, this enterprise, you Cheesy Chuckster, you.

Rush Rush get this through, we got back-to-back another

party to do.

If I were to work here I'd age so quickly. Bags beneath

my eyes. Liking having 15 children of your own. I

wouldn't survive.

cardboard flatbread

and on the menu tonight is cardboard

smells like a wet dog

if you season it up enough you can't tell your dinner has been slightly going out of date the past few weeks.

peppered those week-and-a-half-old tomatoes and steamed that wilted kale

veggie burger on cardboard flatbread

lotsa mustard

with a not so fresh purple onion

tastes great actually, you wouldn't even notice with all the ingredients together plus a bit of salt and tons of pepper

YUMBLR #4

i have a new tumblr

statuses.

http://n-e-onsense.tumblr.com/

]]

i can't read you

but i want to.

*******

don't forget yr bag of

cheese cloth and marmalade jam

made by your uncle

2010

///

get outta my newsfeed

get outta my lane

get off my lawn

get outta my face

lingerie party

The hushed mostly church girls softly spoke on matters principle to topic, chiefly (upcoming marriage, honeymoon)except you know everyone was thinking about the big S word, sex.

whether virginal or not so, it was the subject, the thing, the thought lingering within minds imaginative, picturing themselves with another, how that would look, how awkward this bride to 3 weeks be would hurt since she didn't even wear super tampons. wtf we all were like. talking of the gynecologist. she modeled her corset which looked the sluttiest thing I've ever seen on such a 'pure' girl, barely over twenty. so 'godly', such natural beauty from within. she was hesitant to appear before her lingerie party, merely her wedding cast, closest girlfriends, adopted? foster? sister/ mother and then there was me- uninvited but came with a friend anyway who had been. I didn't bring a present, I ate the cake, I drank 3 cups of the pineapple punch, listened and participated in slicing the thick air of questionry, dull personas, shy speakers, and a quiet bride.

I asked, so how many kids do you want to have? where do you want to live, where will you live?

Pushing away good riddance to the 'they're gonna do it' idea/ mental scene which had plagued my mind for ten full minutes. She answered polietly, pleased to move (away) from such private subjects.

________

I told her to shut it, that she was acting like our

dad, but to her, our dad was our 'father'

and not even that, he was a stranger. the

kind of stranger you do not want to meet.

she shut it. then, she ceased to be a

bitch. that's all it took, just say something

about our stranger father and the subject

changes.

whoa

punk mc-cute my zipper keeps coming

undone I'd like to play piano you know

but you motherfuckers smoke indoors

y're on yr cruise, sick rich

I am on a ship I am passing mtns

the ones with snow caps, the ones wearing those

The sun jumped over the mtn down to

horizon haus, the place it disappears

and conceals itself under a single

horizontal line

this ship feels mammoth but when you

look up you realize the size of yr

surroundings

buncha brothers talkin' bowt blank

can't decifer, engine trouble, something Davis

sea bucket hat, tooth pick, glasses

"tie yr britches son"

"he was interrogatin' her, but she was interrogatin' you"

the sun grins on sailboats, tug boats,

the boats returning the glare, reflection

you want to know whats in my mind, No

you don't

punk mcCutie, wolf sweatshirt, black skinnys

teal shoes, lime laces, porcelain earrings

hightop

urban outfitters

fucking hipster, hipster

I want you rat tail cutie

How boys learn about flowers

from forms of poetry course, take a title (somebody else made up) and write a poem

"How boys learn about flowers"

[Boy speaking -> May 1930]

She pushed me into the daisies

we got grass & dirt

on our shirts

I remember vividly our rendezvous

I remember her

yellow bloom(ers)

June 13 hawt sprangz w.Aut & Jeremy

The Arkansas Summer

no AC in this toyota, that's just the way it is

the way it was back before modern

amenities, grannie remembers, it ain't

that bad, it's all you know and well,

you get used to it, it's normal, wind blown

hair is alright. esp. if you have short

hair like me. I don't give a shit.

55 North (observations on a road trip to Cape Girardeau, MO )

55 North

soy fields

rusted barns barbed wire fences

old rotting trees, concrete tower

lavender highway flowers

dotted line tall sky cumulous clouds

powerline

Popular Bluff exit Chicago

2 miles

Dexter Exit something B

city limit Sikeston

there's a new king in town

now entering Scott county hoo-rah

hoopla

Miner water tower/source

30 miles to destination

Cape Girardeau, MO

wedding plans - who's the man?

Thank you come again

from my yellow journal,unedited

Seattle, your air is crisp and cool

city streets

hella hipsters

grannie touristy feeding the pigeons

we are obviously not locals

I may be in my grey tone-monochrome

sequin shirt, my horizontal striped sweater

Speciality's Cafe, tasty delights

cutey hipster jesus across the way

SASSOON Union & 5th St 9:34 am

waiting to open

tones of fixies, everyone wears a helmet

no bones about it

reminds me of europe June 24, 60s in the

morning 70s in the day

me & the white rabbit are going places

leaving the South

suffocating, suffocation by bible belt

there are no fat turds here

lemme meet a washington boy, plz.

names

my favorite names as of 2008-2009ish

a draft i have saved on my phone since then and updated some here and there last updated in july this yr

nikolaus 'niko'

nikolai

kingston

nadia

mae

eleanor

kit

kaspian

azure

bierk

aspen

marieclaire

fletcher

beau

xavier

olivia

loren

leif

pippin

adrien

issak

otto

misto

sullivan 'sully'

xiu

eliot

epiphany

mid day tr(ah)ffic

gliding down harkrider

.morelike,, harkFRIGHT!er

street

my saturn's carrying me swiftly along

tonstartssbandht's playing high roller

i'm getting lost in this sound,

increase speed &

!L !I !F !T o!F!F

my mind leaves for>> ecSTATI(City)

f (4) i (3) v (2) e (1) seconds &i'm suddenly stunned

i realize i just drove straight through a stoplight

completely oblivious in somekindadaze

it got loud

and i left momentarily

to be edited/to not

sub rosa

bourgeoisie tip toeing

in the know(Sing)

castles of courtesans

tossing petals and posies

flaxen locks

unruly heathen[s(In)]

silk skivvies

way(Down)ward drool

Lest(er) the jester japes

skylarking, that fool

his highness

with a goblet

spilled wine

on his gauntlet

his armour, a bit loose

and shamelessly undone

your sovereign chest VS. her forbidden breasts

make this move, but beware- she may capture your kingdom

your Lilliputian (K)nights couldn't stand a chance

she'd have them cornered, those fellows, confused

in your tower so tall made of brick and cobblestone walls

you left your scent, an essence emerging from

the candle flickering in her mind

through (P)ages she awaits you

she'll

DRAG, YOU

DRAG, YOU -a -c -r -o -s -s

DRAG, YOU

DRAG, YOU

d

o

w

n

DRAG, YOU

DRAG, YOU __________o_______ f ____ f