go team BEAG

future;

PORTLAND!

why are we not together yet

PORTLAND!

i need you

PORTLAND:

you're calling me

PORTLAND

i want to be with you

PORTLAND

i want to be inside of you

PORTLAND

see future me? see future you.

1 / 12 / 11

Metazen has published a poem coupled with a collage by me.

sort of chuckling at my 'bio' this morning. (after all of that I forgot to mention where I blog)

1 hour after new years

my throat is sore

it's all your fault(s)

my mouth was some kind of dirty whore

unexpected past lovers

showed up

what was i supposed to do

2kissfest11

3/3

lucky them

choking

becoming somekind of lethargic mass

sleeping on/off/on/off alldaylong on/off/on

wallowing around

have a bagel and banana

turn the lights back off

hover under covers

and sleep

until it's dark

then do it again

nine more hours

what is wrong with me

srsly,though,idk

///

misto bear's bunny ears are slouching

he hopped off my twinbed

scared the cat

get him,Margot

except he is 3x yr size

'good luck with that'

\\\

here is more space, entering down, i'm going write something else irrelevant, non-related to latter post(s), so i'm going to put in these 'signs' to 'symbolize' i hope this makes 'sense' '\\\' AND/OR '///' but not ''/\/' or \/\' , those mean 'other things' , other things. run on sentence your face, this face, my face, a face, no face

///

this blanket reeks of laundry detergent

in a bad way

choking me with your freshness

you are too clean

///

listening to a band by some boy

i was with

#2

last spring break

what a trip

why

get off my playlist

you remind me of

uncomfortable things

but i like your songs

NEXT>>

\\\

i'm 'afraid' of putting my playlist on 'random'

for fear of a song playing that i don't like

or some song connected to a memory that makes me feel melancholy

i choose what i listen to carefully

for fear of emotional trauma

///

what am i doing

save now/ or publish post?

hm

why haven't i left my apartment yet

holidays are weird

alone

known, but unacknowledged

/\/\

radiator

chemicals

sushi

kitty cat

no pants

mixing

toning

eating seaweed salad

i think this sushi is old

tastes like it

kitty, get out of the chemicals

come on

get out of here

i'm trying to go blonde

shut the door

keep the heat in

absent chills

i tried xx tonight it was alright

why this consistent thing in my newsfeed with kids in beds under blankets in sloppy rooms with morning light taken with film cameras i want some of it i want in on some of this film grain too can i get in on some of it i want to take a picture of a cute boy in a bed under blankets drinking a coca cola too i want to represent my twenty-something life as it is when it is it is now oh that part that you do not see those things i do they do exist they have existed rather for the shortest periods hiding under the softest sheets with close breaths and deep eyes ; deep sighs but i cannot capture it for the boy does not exist

any longer

without this presence i am forced to pretend

maybe i should just transcend

t

__h

e (i)

_m

invisible carpet surprise

instantaneous

s/t/i\c\k!

penetration through

s|t|a|l|e skin

unsure of what it is? but

know it hurts ( blurt )

red drops spilling over crease, spilling

out

waterfountainlike Gush

some kind of chard deepwithin

fresh slice

dug out with nearest tool, dug out with exacto knife,

upon discovery, a

glass splinter

out/in/out again

she arrived at your backdoor, the place between your mind and your heart, she got a hold and she isn't letting go, No, she isn't letting go. you didn't even realize she was standing there, for a good five minutes, you didn't. your glass was too thick to break. too thick to shake your subconscious, your stirring mind of lost thoughts. she had to call you, she had to wait for you to let her in. she had to wait for you to open your door

she was grasping that knob so tightly holding (to your) outside, just to be welcomed [to you(r)] inside

just to be there when it was time to come in

you didn't know (then)

you still don't (now)

know?

know

( that )

you let her

in